Last minute. I always wait until the last minute.
I can't seem to get steady progress when time is plenty.
I need the adrenaline arousal of time running out. A little bit like when there's only 1 minute left in Super Mario.
The music changes pace. The tension is palpable. There is no turning back. Nowhere to hide. Only one way: Forward and now.
Self-awareness isn't sufficient to change me. I've come to accept that as part of my nature.
I need a wall behind my back pushing me forward.
But usually, something fascinating happens when I'm in that space. New insights come to life as if born from synapses collapsing under pressure. My worldview changes, upgrades. I get closer to some form of truth.
It often comes at a cost, though. Anxiety joins the journey, uninvited.
And once built up, pressure needs to evacuate. The body pays the bill.
But I remind myself that diamonds are made under pressure.
Under pressure. Under pressure.